Monday night I was feeling tired, but good. I’d had random contractions all weekend and was surprised that baby boy hadn’t arrived yet. I was growing a little impatient, but thankful that he’d waited this long because I was able to complete most of the important task I’d been hoping to finish at work. I slept well all night until 5:30 AM Tuesday morning. I woke up to sharp but not unbearable contractions. I started to time the intervals while passing the time in social media land, searching Pinterest for labor quotes and blogs and trolling Twitter. 45 minutes later I was having contractions 10-12 minutes apart and I was wondering if this was a false alarm or the start of active labor.
My Husker Lovin Hubby (HLH) woke up at 6:30ish, followed by Miss B., our toddler daughter. Contractions were getting closer together and I continued to question if this was the real thing. I took a shower and then my husband did the same. As he was toweling off, I told him he should probably stay home from work and go with me to my 40 week appointment scheduled at 9:00. His eyes got big and he asked how close my contractions were now and if the baby was coming. I giggled about his freaked out face, shrugged my shoulders and continued my morning routine.
By 7:30 I’d reached the “5-1-1” threshold (five minutes apart, for 1 minute, for 1 hour) that my doctor had explained, so I called her office. I was told my hospital of choice (the place I delivered Miss B.) was on divert and was directed to go to my back-up hospital. I’d been prepared for this possibility so I wasn’t alarmed…just a little disappointed.
We packed B’s lunch, dropped her off at daycare, grabbed a coffee at Starbucks and checked in at the hospital about an hour later. Upon arrival I was dilated to a “generous 3…or maybe 4”. The nurse ordered an epidural and I was relieved. My worst fear was not making it to the hospital in time to have an epidural. All was going well!
By 9:00 HLH and I were hanging out in the room preparing for a long day of labor, when I started to have MAJOR contractions. I suddenly felt like I wet my pants so I asked Chris to go and get the nurse because I was pretty sure my water just broke. Five minutes later the nurse came and she confirmed it and asked me what color the water was. SERIOUSLY? The last thing I did was look to see what color it was.
At this point I was breathing hard through my now gnarly contractions. I told HLH to put his damn cell phone away because I was annoyed he wasn’t focused on me (even though I didn’t know WHAT I wanted him to do otherwise).
I wondered where the HELL my epidural was and tried to close my eyes and focus on my music.
At 9:30ish and the anesthesiologist FINALLY came into the room. I was soooooo relieved. I couldn’t wait for him to get the needle in my back. I’d had an epi with Miss B. and it was freaking AMAZING! I’d always thought if God created someone smart enough to invent epidurals, I should have one. Why suffer more than needed?
As he was getting situated the nurse checked me again and this is when all hell broke loose. She got an alarmed look on her face and announced that I was dilated to 10 cm and that I wouldn’t be having an epidural after all. WHAT the @#$&? I went from 4 to 10 in about an hour!?!! I swore out loud.
As I was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I was not going to be medicated during birth, my nurses began discussing who was going to deliver me. My doctor hadn’t arrived yet, the on call hospital doctor was delivering someone else and the back-up doc was in the O.R. The nurse timidly assured me that all would be ok. I could’ve cared less about who was going to deliver me at that point. I just kept thinking that there was no way in hell I could have a baby without drugs. “I’m not that kind of momma! I can’t do this!” was on repeat in my mind.
I was in a panic.
As this was unfolding HLH kept giving me the deer in the headlights look, with HUGE dumb eyes, which made everything worse. He says Satan talked through me when I demanded that he “Stop giving me the googly eyes!”
This is when I started the loud labor moans. I couldn’t help myself. I’d never made this kind of noise before and I scared myself. I felt bad for other soon to be moms who may have heard me.
Then in walked my doctor. FINALLY! She sprung into action and before I knew it she was telling me to remember how I’d pushed with my little Miss B. and that it was go time! I wasn’t ready for it but my body was screaming PUSH! Two nurses and my doctor where telling me to push and I freaked out a little and said “I don’t want to!” I was in so much pain. I knew I needed to push, but I needed just a minute more to pull myself together. At this point my doctor told the nurses that I only needed one voice talking to me and that it would be her. Normally I like sounds in concert, but not this time. Bless her for telling the others to back off.
After the next contraction I pulled my shit together and was ready. After four or five pushes (and a lot of moaning), a few “Oh my gods” while baby was crowning, and the power of nature…I had a son.
For the next three hours I was in a daze of “OMG I just had a natural birth!” I couldn’t believe I had just done it…without drugs. It all went down so fast. I wondered if it was all real. Although my mind was spinning, my body felt pretty darn good, considering. I walked from the labor suite to my room. I had energy. I was hungry. I was nursing baby well and was in love with my new bundle of 7 pound 10 ounce bundle of joy.
A Johnny Cash song was playing a few moments after he was born and then another Cash song came on a few minutes later. We took this as a sign about which of our two final potential names should be our son’s name. Cash Joseph fits him perfectly (Joseph is a family name…five generations of Jo’s in my family).
Another cool thing…George Strait’s “I’ve Got a Car” was playing as we drove to the hospital. If you don’t know why this is cool, listen to the song :-).
I love being a momma and am so blessed. Welcome to the world little Cashie!