Original post 4/19/14
In roughly 30 days I’m going to have a new baby boy in my arms (where did the time go?). Miss B will be a just a few weeks shy of two years old, work is as busy as ever…and I’m terrified.
I’m terrified because the terrible twos have already started at my house (yes, our once perfect child threw herself down on the floor in the middle of Target screaming because I asked her to put down a really cool sippy cup, she’s all of the sudden decided baths suck, and I guess wearing your coat and cowboy boots in the house at all times is supposed to be acceptable). I wonder how I’ll have the patience and capacity to deal with Miss B’s kind of crazy, plus a new baby. She’s adorable and at the same time awful…and I couldn’t love her more.
This next chapter is only a few pages away and I find myself questioning things like:
-How will I be able to be a good momma to Miss B. AND to a new infant?
-How will Miss B react to not being the center of the universe…will she be hurt?
-What if I get stretch marks in this last few weeks of pregnancy…will my Husker Lovin Hubby still find me sexy? (A little vain, I know…)
-What if I get post-partum depression?
-What if I can’t continue to work at the pace I am now after baby #2?
I really have no idea how I will balance being a mom of two (in diapers), while working full-time, keeping up with the house and being a good wife…
But…on the other hand, I often feel a sense of calm because I know it will all work out. I’ll have ways/ideas/ability to deal. Miss B will adjust. A new norm in our household will be created. Life will go on. RIGHT?!?
It’s like I have split personalities. Gotta love pregnancy hormones!
I find comfort remembering that there are people everywhere across the globe who balance far more than I… and they do it well. For example, I think about one of my best girlfriends who was in a terrible car accident six months ago. In the blink of an eye she lost the love of her life, broke her neck and is now in a wheelchair, working hard to regain her ability to walk and is adapting to a new sense of “normal”. Her world has forever changed. And how is she coping? BEAUTIFULLY. I’m sure she has her moments, but when I think of her spirit, determination and positivity, it makes me well up with tears. She’s a freaking ROCKSTAR. I’m so blessed to have people like her in my life because they make ME stronger.
When I spend too much time worrying about how this will all turn out, I try to shift my thinking and get into the mantra of “I will have the answers. I will know what to do. I will succeed.” It helps. I also try to remember these lessons I learned when Miss B. came (some lessons are learned the hard way):
1. You’ll probably fit into your skinny jeans sooner than you think! Don’t spend energy worrying about it! Your hubby loves YOU…not just your body. You’ll have much more important ways to spend your energy when baby arrives.
2. Don’t forget to let your man know how you’re feeling. He can’t read your mind and he can HELP you (and wants to).
3. Humans are very adaptable. Trust your gut and go with the flow.
4. Be gentle with yourself (thanks Kami for reminding me of this!). Take things one day at a time.
It feels good to get these thoughts out. Thanks for taking the time to read them and PLEASE share your words of wisdom for being great partners, great parents raising amazing kids and great at doing EPIC things in this amazing world we live in!
And…I still need inspiration for a great boy name…so feel free to influence this decision too!